Dear Blank, Sincerely Blank
by Harmony-Rose Blake
Summary: A load of short letters between the characters. May contain spoilers for all the books! I suck at summaries so you're better off just reading it. Rated T just to be safe.
1. The Big Vampire Night In

**Hello there. This is my second fanfiction, my first is 'Short Stories: Valduggery, Ghanith, Violence?' Check it out if you want!**

**Anyway this is a load of 'Dear Blank, Sincerely Blank' short letters between the characters. I hope you enjoy and I'll put one up everyday,**

**Harmony xxx**

Dear Caelan,

Will you and Edward stop sending me invite's to 'The Big Vampire Night Out'. I am a real vampire and do not feast on animals, I feast on humans. Also, I don't fall in love with humans either.

Yours Sincerely,

Dusk

**So what did you think? Let me know in a review, thanks.**

**Harmony xxx**


	2. We Gon' Find You!

**Hello there again. Here's the second letter.**

**I'm sorry but I just had to do this one. It was just staring me in the face. Enjoy!**

**Reia Kellyn – I've continued, please don't hurt me with your powerful Kurt bobble head ;D **

**Harmony xxx**

Dear Lord Vile,

You don't have to come and confess we lookin' for you,  
>We gon' find you, we gon' find you,<br>So you can run and tell that, run and tell that, run and tell that,  
>Homeboy – Home – home - home-boy!<p>

Yours sincerely

Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie Cain and Antoine Dodson

**If you have no idea who Antoine Dodson is type in YouTube 'Antoine Dodson – Bed Intruder Song'. It's a true story but too funny the way someone made it into a song. Review and let me know what you thought, thanks.**

**Harmony xxx**


	3. Ghostbusters

**Hehe :3 Just been watching Ghostbusters and I got an idea! Got to love Ghostbusters. Hope you like it,  
><strong>

**Harmony xxx**

Dear The Spirit of Gordon,

I ain't 'fraid of no ghost!

Yours sincerely,

Desmond

**Sorry about the shortness of it. Review? I love your reviews :3 And thank you all for your great reviews so far, I'm glad you're all really liking this,**

**Harmony xxx**


	4. The Two Lord V's

**Thank you all for the lovely reviews! I love you guys :$ **

**Mademise Morte – Yes, Ghostbusters is a film, you really need to watch it! It's awesome ;D**

**Hope you all enjoy this one,**

**Harmony xxx**

Dear Harry Potter,

You have a Lord V after you seeking to destroy the world and your friends too? Maybe we could help each other out?

Yours sincerely,

Skulduggery Pleasant


	5. Zombie Killers

**Sabrina Sparrow – I get my ideas from the deepest, darkest places of my mind. If you ventured there you would go insane O.o**

**Read and review?**

**Harmony xxx**

Dear Zombie Killers,

Some of us have feelings! Think about that next time.

Lots of love,

Vaurien Scapegrace and Thrasher xxxxxxxxxxxx


	6. The Wait

**This is exactly what I am thinking at this very moment. Read and review?**

**Harmony xxx**

Dear Derek Landy,

Why do you always make us wait so long for the books to come out?

Yours sincerely,

The Readers of Skulduggery Pleasant


	7. The Girl Is Mine

**Hello again. I'm actually surprised at how much of a hit this thing has become. Thanks to everyone who has been putting it in their favourites, putting it on alert and reviewing or even just reading.**

**Tariana Grace – I think of the letters from the weirdest places of my mind and also things that I think about in class or on the bus :3 Or even conversations I have with friends.**

**Happy reading!**

**Harmony xxx**

Dear Caelan,

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! She's mine.

Yours sincerely,

Fletcher

**Just a random little note. Does anybody from England get annoyed when Americans ask/say to you either 'How often do you have tea?' or 'Oh my God! You have a British accent, say more words!' **

**Yes, I'm from England but that doesn't mean I speak like everyone on films or TV shows. If I visit somewhere else in England, most people can't even understand me! That's how different the British accent is. Please, I am asking some Americans on behalf of most of the people from England don't ask us or say that to us. I love the Americans and I really don't want to start an argument over this, I am just getting my point across. **

**Sorry about that little rant there, review please!**

**Harmony xxx**


	8. Films

Dear Charlize Theron and Michael Chiklis,

Fancy playing me and Ghastly in the 'Skulduggery Pleasant' films?

Yours sincerely,

Tanith Low and Ghastly Bespoke

**In my world, these would be the perfect Tanith and Ghastly :3 Google them. Also, if you look at the music video for Brandon Flowers' song 'Crossfire', Charlize Theron is in it and she has a sword! So yeah, reviews?**

**Harmony xxx**


	9. I Told You So

Dear Sanguine,

I told you not to look into the Hoover when it's on.

Yours sincerely,

Dreylan Scarab

**Has anybody else wondered how Sanguine might have lost his eyes or am I the only one? This immediately came to mind when I heard Scarab was Sanguine's dad.**

**Harmony xxx**


	10. I Said No

Dear Fletcher,

Please stop asking me if I want your "Remnant" in my "Receptacle". I said no, end of.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**Fletcher has a dirty mind :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	11. Go to Hell, Gerald!

Dear Zombie Eleven,

I love the way you stand up to Thrasher. Especially the way you said 'Go to Hell, Gerald'. That really turned me on. Want to go for a drink later? If you know what I mean ;)

Lots of love,

Scapegrace xxxxxxxxxxx

**That line really makes me laugh in 'Mortal Coil'. "Go to Hell, Gerald." Hehe :3**

**Harmony xxx**

**P.S If you haven't got a PM from me lately I've been a bit preoccupied. I think that's the right word. Sorry about that. I still love you :)**


	12. Photograph

Dear Tanith,

Remember that goofy picture we took? There we stood; two best friends, two true smiles. I remember we were laughing so hard that the tears came pouring out as we examined the picture afterwards. Here I am, a year later, looking at the same picture. It still has the same affect on me, except these are tears of sadness. Personalities changed, promises got broken. All we are now is an old photograph.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**There won't be many sad ones, so don't go thinking I've gone emo on you. I saw it as a group on facebook and it reminded me of Valkyrie and Tanith. I think it kind of explains their situation, don't you?**

**Harmony xxx**


	13. Stalker

Dear Lord Vile,

Now that you have come out of hiding and have finished stalking Skulduggery Pleasant, please can I have my invisibility cloak back?

Yours sincerely,

Harry Potter

**Oh. My. God. Has anyone seen Derek Landy's blog lately? The cover for book six is A-MAZING! And it's called 'Skulduggery Pleasant: Death Bringer' Wow! Is anyone really excited now or am I the only one?**

**Harmony xxx**


	14. Scars

Dear Joker,

Want to know how I got this scar?

Yours sincerely,

Dusk

**Am I the only person who actually loves Heath Ledger's 'Joker'? I think he portrays him really well and if I could, I would marry Joker.**

**Harmony xxx**


	15. It Helps

Dear Remus Crux,

If you want to have a goatee, you have to have a chin and actual style.

Yours sincerely,

Johnny Depp

P.S Sexiness also helps.

**I'm in love with Johnny Depp. He is gorgeous and his acting is pure gold. Does anybody if the rumours are true that he might be playing Skulduggery Pleasant in the films?**

**Harmony xxx**


	16. Sharing Tips

Dear Fletcher,

Thanks for the hair tip. I think we really pulled it off but not as good as you though.

Yours sincerely,

Jedward

'**Tis the Eurovision on Saturday guys. Is anyone going to be just as sad as me and watch it? Jedward are in for Ireland, are you going to watch it now? Hehe :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	17. You're Not The Only One

Dear Jack Skellington,

You're not the only walking, talking, magical skeleton.

Yours sincerely,

Skulduggery Pleasant

**Hi guys! Sorry about the slow uploads, life is crap at the moment. Someone leave some jokes in the reviews. I don't care if they are rubbish, I'll probably still laugh at them.**

**Harmony xxx**


	18. Awkward

Dear Skulduggery,

When some FanFiction writers write about us… Er… Doing _it_, would that be classed as necrophilia?

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I have often wondered this when I have came across it in my searchings for another story to read.**

**Harmony xxx**


	19. Invited

Dear Dusk,

We're having another 'Vampire Night In'. Please attend this time; me and Edward really missed you. Also, you missed out on some delicious deer blood.

If you can come, reply to this letter and I will send you the details.

Yours sincerely,

Caelan

**Caelan just doesn't know when to give up, does he?**

**Harmony xxx  
><strong>


	20. Me too!

Dear Spiderman,

I can sit on ceilings too!

Yours sincerely,

Tanith Low

**And that is why Skulduggery Pleasant is better than Spiderman. Only because Tanith can sit on ceilings too!**

**Harmony xxx**


	21. Warning

Dear Drivers,

**DO NOT PARK HERE.**

The wrath of the Ancients will fall upon your head. Your shoelaces will not stay tied. Rabid squirrels will invade your home. Food in your fridge will mysteriously spoil. Your vehicle will start making that expensive knocking sound again and no-one will talk to you at parties.

Yours sincerely,

Skulduggery Pleasant

P.S You will also seriously anger the owner of this parking space.

**Skulduggery Pleasant likes parking near the entrance of the Sanctuary.**

**Hi guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, computer kind of broke on me. I'm thinking of doing a crossover story between 'Skulduggery Pleasant' and 'The Dark Knight'. I kind of like the idea of Skulduggery & co. meeting Batman and the Joker. Should I do it? Let me know!**

**Harmony xxx**


	22. The Lion King

Dear Cat,

Sorry for hoisting you up into the air whenever the 'Circle of Life' plays.

Yours sincerely,

Tesseract

**I can actually imagine Tesseract doing that :') I do it with my friends cat.**

**Harmony xxx**


	23. Very Original

Dear Caelan,

You stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original.

Yours sincerely,

Peter Pan

**Looks like Caelan's been watching 'Peter Pan' to much :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	24. A Band

Dear Erskine Ravel,

We're starting a band but we need a drummer. If you would like to join us please grow a long, grey beard and we shall be in touch.

Yours sincerely,

Dumbledore, Merlin and Gandalf

**YEY! A wizard band with long, grey beards! What could be better? Anyone got any ideas on a name for the band?**

**Harmony xxx**


	25. Childish

Dear Playgrounds,

Please become adult sized. Just because I am over eighty doesn't mean I wouldn't have as much fun as I did when I was twelve.

Yours sincerely,

Tanith Low

**For some reason, I expect Tanith to be really childish :') But as my Auntie likes to put it 'Never grow up.' I love her.**

**Hi guys! I would like to say thank you to the people who suggested a band name so here goes – Thanks to 'Just-Acting-Naturally' for 'Bewitched Beard Bearers', 'Magicful Creepy Kids' for 'The Beardy-Weirdies' and 'Tariana Grace' for 'Our Band Is Better Than Yours'. They all made me laugh so much! And a big thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I love you guys! You keep my random ideas coming to me ;D  
><strong>

**Harmony xxx**


	26. Sorry About That

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.

Yours sincerely,

Derek Landy, Golden God

**Hehe :3 Sorry but I hate Twilight. Skulduggery Pleasant FTW!**

**Aww, someone left me a note in my bag today and it really cheered me up. It read:**

**Dear Harmony,**

**:)**

**Yours sincerely,**

**We all need love sometimes x  
><strong>

**I used my name that I use on here because I don't want to use my real name. I really want to know who sent me it now :3 Bless their hearts :$**

**Harmony xxx**


	27. Strong Words

Dear Skulduggery,

Kidnap is such a strong word. I prefer surprise adoption…

Yours sincerely,

Sanguine

**Just because Skulduggery is always like 'Oh noes ;o Valkyrie has been kidnapped again!' And Sanguine only wants his razor back, is there any harm in that? :3**

**Harmony xxx**

**P.S I meant to spell 'noes' wrong.**


	28. I Swear

Dear Valkyrie,

I swear, I'm not a stalker. Oh and by the way you're out of milk.

Yours sincerely,

Caelan

P.S I'd go with the white dress for Friday. Just saying…

**Caelan always has a way of _subtly _hinting to people, doesn't he?**

**Harmony xxx**


	29. Poker

Dear Snape,

Are you still up for that poker game tonight?

Yours sincerely,

Solomon Wreath

**For some reason Snape reminds me of Wreath. Maybe it's the "emo" look, I don't know.**

**Harmony xxx**


	30. Wrong!

Dear Edward Cullen,

You're doing it wrong.

Yours sincerely,

Dusk

**Seriously, what Vampire sparkles?**

**Harmony xxx**


	31. Explain

Dear Santa Claus,

Please explain why the toys you made in the North Pole have 'Made in China' printed on them? I'm having a hard time trying to explain this to my little sister and, uh… my Dad.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie Cain

**My Mam has a hard time trying to explain this to me at Christmas and I'm a teenager!**

**Over the next couple of days these little letters might be uploaded late at night because at the moment I'm busy working on my SkulPles/Dark Knight story. So yeah, sorry about that.**

**Harmony xxx**


	32. Mixed Up

Dear Antoine Dodson,

Sorry about the mix-up, it won't happen again.

Yours sincerely,

Caelan

**Tut tut, Caelan! You creeper :3  
><strong>

**Harmony xxx**


	33. Payback

Dear Dad's Cousin,

I haven't seen you since you were this skinny!

Yours sincerely,

Stephanie

**It had to be done. If you don't remember check 'Playing with Fire' at the family reunion part -.-**

**Harmony xxx**


	34. Singing

Dear Prince William,

Do you sing 'I Just Can't Wait To Be King' in private? I know I would…

Yours sincerely,

Tanith Low

**Tanith is being childish again :3 I know I would sing that if I were going to become Queen… I love the Lion King :$ Cyber Hi5! Me if you're childish too.  
><strong>

**Harmony xxx**


	35. Self  Conscious

Dear Beryl,

'Look how big you're getting!' Stopped being a compliment at age ten.

Yours sincerely,

Your now self-conscious teenage daughter

**I actually felt the tiniest bit sorry for them at the Christmas party when they were getting laughed at.**

**Harmony xxx**


	36. It Was Paused

Dear Dad,

You think I can't hear you singing along to Abba just because I had my iPod in. I put it on pause.

Yours sincerely,

Stephanie

**I actually caught my Dad doing this O.o Creepiest thing ever since he doesn't even know the words…**

'**Dancing bean, I like to eat tangerine's…' I wish I had filmed it.**

**Harmony xxx**


	37. Watching

Dear Santa,

You watch them sleep too?

Yours sincerely,

Caelan

**Caelan could be the vampire version of pedo bear O.o**

**Harmony xxx**


	38. Stupidly Cute

Dear Fletcher,

I love that you Google YouTube. Seriously, you can just type in. You're so cute when you're stupid.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I love it when my guy best friend does this :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	39. Appreciation

Dear Fletcher,

When riding in a lift, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.

Yours sincerely,

Your imaginary friend, Bruce

**Bruce is the one that makes Fletcher do all of the crazy things he does. Be sure to look out for Bruce, he makes you do strange things…**

**Harmony xxx **


	40. Hate

Dear Meloncholia,

It's not that I hate you; I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**Best comeback in an argument ever.**

**Harmony xxx**


	41. Jokes

Dear Dad,

Just because those cashiers gave you a fake laugh doesn't mean that the joke was funny, or ever will be. Next time, can we just pay and leave?

Yours sincerely,

Stephanie

**I tried explaining this to my Dad. He told me to stick my attitude where the sun doesn't shine.**

**Harmony xxx**


	42. Instant Messenger

Dear Friend on Instant Messenger,

62p;olh'[;fgp[;swlasyh xsrfeqawhgsdeeeeeeeeetygq wreq1fvawql,l[d. Sorry, Cat walked across the keyboard again.

Yours sincerely,

Tesseract

**My dog does this all the time. The thing is though, she's a big dog and I have a _tiny _laptop.**

**Harmony xxx**


	43. Behaviour

Dear Grandparents,

Thank you so much for your wonderful stories of my badly behaved Mother.

Yours sincerely,

Stephanie

**I love my Gran for these stories :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	44. Stop Now

Dear Criss Angel and David Blaine,

Stop practicing magic at once. It isn't real, and it offends me.

Yours sincerely,

Skulduggery Pleasant

**Criss Angel creeps me out O.o**

**Harmony xxx**


	45. Nooks

Dear E-Books,

I don't care how heavy they are. I don't care if they supposedly kill trees. I don't care if they don't have a well-lit screen. Nothing beats the smell of printed paper and the tingle in your fingers when you turn the first page of a new book. You can't smell a 'Nook'.

Yours sincerely,

A loyal book-worm

**Reading will never be the same again if everyone gets these 'Nooks'.**

**Harmony xxx**


	46. Eyes

Dear Fletcher,

Please find a better compliment than 'You have pretty eyes.' Everyone's eyes look cool; they're freaking colourful balls of liquid on your face!

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I want my friend's eyes. They are bright green, like leprechauns! I love the Irish and their accent :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	47. PE

Dear PE Teachers,

I'll run the 1500m when I see you fight off a zombie horde or a pack of infected.

Yours sincerely,

Stephanie Edgley

**I hate PE. I told my teacher that I shall only run if I see her do it first, she never ran so neither did I.**

**Harmony xxx**


	48. Having Fun

Dear Police,

Please stop trying to give me trespassing charges when I'm at the playground at night. The kids hog it during the day.

Yours sincerely,

Tanith Low

**I only wanted to play on the swings and climbing frame! I wasn't going to harm it in any way.**

**Harmony xxx**


	49. Drunk

Dear drunk me,

Please stop trying to ship leftover pizza to 'starving kids in Africa'. The postman is getting angry.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**Good thing I went to school this morning…**

**Harmony xxx**


	50. Text

Dear Meloncholia,

Thanks for the angry text! I sort of love how you couldn't say that to my face.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**That was my favourite text of the day! :3**

**We've hit the 50****th**** chapter guys! Cupcakes and cookies galore! *Hands them out* YEY!**

**Harmony xxx**


	51. Happy Meal

Dear McDonalds,

Don't leave the toy out just because we are over ten and ordering a Happy Meal.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie Cain and Tanith Low

**I went and asked for a toy and they just stared at me like I had just told them I killed their pet. Eventually, I got my toy!**

**Harmony xxx**


	52. Ice

Dear icy path,

We meet again.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie's arse

**I read Mortal Coil again today (:**

**Harmony xxx**


	53. Mud

Dear muddy puddle,

Bring. It. On.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie Cain

**How I wish I had gone to Glastonbury…**

**Harmony xxx**


	54. Responsible

Dear Fletcher,

Sorry about the black eye. I did warn you that I'm not responsible for anything I do while being tickled.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I did warn my brother.**

**Harmony xxx**


	55. Tumblr

Dear Tumblr,

Why do you have to be so addictive? I have cases to solve!

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie Cain

**Tumblr is stopping me from having a social life. Oh well!**

**Harmony xxx**


	56. Reasons

Dear Scar,

If anyone asks, I got you by defeating a very powerful adept. The real reason is very embarrassing.

Yours sincerely,

Dusk

'**Cause Dusk doesn't like to think he got beat up by a teenager.**

**Harmony xxx**


	57. Thank You

Dear Skulduggery,

Thank you for watching six hours of Disney films with me, and singing along to every song.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I hate being ill but when my guy best friend skips school and sits watching Disney films with me, I kind of like being ill. I still can't believe he knew all the songs.**

**Harmony xxx**


	58. Sneezes

Dear baby sister,

Please tell me where you got those adorable sneezes. I desperately need one, I'm sick of having a man sneeze.

Yours sincerely,

Your big sister, Stephanie

**Seriously, how cute are baby sneezes? :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	59. Warning Sticker

Dear baby pram manufacturers,

Is the warning sticker that says, 'Do not fold stroller while baby is still inside' really necessary?

Yours sincerely,

Melissa Edgley

**I was casually wandering around Toys 'R Us and find an awesome pram. Me and my friends started to have races in them and then we find the sticker. I think it fair to say, we died laughing at the things we imagined.**

**Harmony xxx**


	60. Crazy

Dear Remus Crux,

Don't worry, you're not crazy. Everyone else is just jealous that we talk to you and not them.

Yours sincerely,

The Voices

**I'm not crazy. I just like having a decent conversation for once…**

**Harmony xxx**


	61. Cleverbot

Dear Mum, Dad and Skulduggery,

It's Cleverbot, not a rapist.

Yours sincerely,

Stephanie

**Mam, would I seriously be singing 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne with a rapist?**

**Harmony xxx**


	62. Sleepover

Dear Fletcher,

Yes, it's true. We wear little nighties at sleepovers; have pillow fights in our undies and make-out with each other. Haven't you ever heard of sarcasm?

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie, Tanith and China

**It amazes me how thick some guys can be.**

**Harmony xxx**


	63. Dancing

Dear alcohol,

Please continue to make me the best dancer on the planet.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I should go on Britains Got Talent or something. I'm amazing!**

**Harmony xxx**


	64. Diary

Dear Diary,

Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiralling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the 'Blood Red Romance' and 'Suffocate Me Dry' concerts. It sucks 'cause they play some of my favourite songs like "Stab my heart because I love you" and "Rip apart my soul" and of course "Stabby rip stab stab." And it doesn't help that I couldn't get Valkyrie to be with me either… Like that guy from that film…

Yours sincerely,

Caelan

**Oh, Caelan, you're such an "emo kid". That song on YouTube makes me laugh.**

**Harmony xxx**


	65. Rain

Dear rain,

I'm getting really tired of this. Please, just let me get to the top of this drainpipe.

Yours sincerely,

The Torment

**For some strange reason my Mam was singing 'Incy-Wincy Spider' today. I didn't ask why.**

**Harmony xxx**


	66. Indestructible

Dear cockroaches,

I thought I was indestructible too…

Yours sincerely,

The Book of Names

**Can someone tell me what a cockroach was doing in England? It would not die!  
><strong>

**Harmony xxx**


	67. Spider

Dear Valkyrie,

You've beaten Gods, half a God, _very _powerful, evil men a_nd_ yourself. How are you scared of that spider on the wall?

Yours sincerely,

Skulduggery

**I refused to go back to bed till the spider was found.**

**Harmony xxx**


	68. Leave Them At Home

Dear parents,

Unless you're 100% sure your seven-year-old can handle this 12a film, leave them at home. The crying drowns out most of the action.

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie Cain

**If a kid starts screaming while I am watching Harry Potter on Saturday, I may have to shoot it.**

**Harmony xxx**


	69. Love

Dear Skulduggery,

Are you going to love Valkyrie like Severus Snape loves Lily Potter?

Yours sincerely,

A reader of Skulduggery Pleasant and Harry Potter

**I admit it. I cried at Harry Potter. I knew it was going to be sad because I cried at the book. Alan Rickman deserves to be rained on by Oscars for that performance. **

**I can really imagine Skulduggery being like Snape, silently loving Valkyrie while she is with Fletcher.**

**Harmony xxx**


	70. Fooled

Dear people I need a book from,

Don't be fooled by my smile. I probably don't even like you.

Yours sincerely,

China Sorrows

**I regret being so nice all the time but I just can't help it.**

**Harmony xxx**


	71. Hot Girls

Dear hot girls,

When you say, 'Just because you're wearing sunglasses doesn't mean I can't see your eyes.' Well, jokes on you, I don't have any eyes!

Yours sincerely,

Billy-Ray Sanguine

**I am sure Sanguine is a pervert, because at the end of the second book he's "Admirin' the scenery," and he also likes to make comments on how Tanith looks in her leather. Just my opinion…**

**Harmony xxx**


	72. Radio

Dear Fletcher,

Just because you can reach the radio doesn't mean you get to change the station. Touch it and I _will _push you out of this car.

Yours sincerely,

Skulduggery

**I hate it when my brother does this when we're in the car -.-**

**Harmony xxx**


	73. Quote

Dear Skulduggery,

Do you ever take off your skull and quote Shakespeare?

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I could see Skulduggery doing something like this.**

**Harmony xxx**


	74. Motorbike

Dear guy riding his motorbike with his dog in the side car,

Please continue to put little goggles on your dog. You've just made my day!

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie Cain

**The people you meet when you go out with your Dad on his motorbike are really unforgettable.**

**Harmony xxx**


	75. Retired

Dear Desmond Edgley,

We're retired. Stop calling.

Yours sincerely,

Ghost Busters

**Why can't I find them in the phone book! D:  
><strong>

**Harmony xxx**


	76. The Sims

Dear Caelan,

I've killed you more times than you can count on 'The Sims'.

Yours sincerely,

Fletcher

**I love killing people I hate on 'The Sims'. It's just so much fun!  
><strong>

**Harmony xxx**


	77. Please

Dear Derek Landy,

Pretty please can I have someone like Professor Snape in my life? _Please!_

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**I went to see Harry Potter for the sixth time today. I can't help but cry, especially at Snape.**

**Harmony xxx**


	78. Toys

Dear 'For Ages 3-7',

I'll decide when I'm ready to stop playing with this toy!

Yours sincerely,

Tanith Low

**I still play with my Barbie's! I know I'm childish but I don't care :3**

**Harmony xxx**


	79. Emotions

Dear Valkyrie,

Please stop acting like you're the only one with emotions.

Yours sincerely,

Fletcher

**This is what my guy best friend shouted at his girlfriend today. The look on her face was priceless.**

**Harmony xxx**


	80. Problem?

Dear Ghastly and Fletcher,

Yes, we are watching a Disney movie. Is there a problem?

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie and Tanith

**Yes, Mam, I was watching Pocahontas. **

**Seriously, I need a life. All I am doing with these summer holidays is watching films! I am sat here saying every line in 'The Dark Knight' word for word. I'M LOSING MY MIND.**

**Harmony xxx**


	81. Leprechauns

Dear Skulduggery,

If Goblins, Zombies, Banshees and Vampires all exist, then do Leprechauns?

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**Something was in the bushes when I was camping, so I named it Lenny the Lost Leprechaun. **

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been camping! Which was great fun but it's nice to be back home with internet connection again.**

**Harmony xxx**


	82. Authors Note

**Right, I'm going to visit my Brother for a week and I don't think I'll be able to reach a computer. If I do, I will update but if not there won't be any updates till Sunday. I'll still be able to read your stories and review and also answer your inboxes because of the wonderful technology on my phone! I'm going to miss you all! Have fun guys!**

**Harmony xxx**


	83. Arguments

Dear Parents,

Please stop shouting at each other and take a look at your daughter, China. You can see the scars on her arms, right?

Yours sincerely,

Mr Bliss

**I don't know why but I think that things in their household weren't exactly 'brilliant'.**

**Oh, hi there guys! I'm back now; we stayed longer than expected because my Brother didn't want us to leave. Bless him. But I'm back and should be updating as per.**

**Harmony xxx**


	84. Wise

Dear Valkyrie,

Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die. Coach Carr is a very wise man.

Yours sincerely,

Skulduggery

* * *

><p>Dear Skulduggery,<p>

If you had watched 'Mean Girls' all the way through, you would have found out Coach Carr was a paedophile. How wise is he now?

Yours sincerely,

Valkyrie

**There are two because I haven't been updating much. **

**So, guys, who has Death Bringer? I've just finished it. Got it at three today and I have never been more excited to sit and not eat for a while. I am now stuffing my face at Midnight because I am starving. I'm planning on reading it again tomorrow. My face is forever stuck in shock, which is all I am saying. Read it, guys. Read. It.**

**Harmony xxx**


	85. Symptoms

Dear Clarabelle,

No, it's _not_ ok for you to Google the patients symptoms on your iPhone.

Yours sincerely,

Nye

**Yeah, that's right, I'm back! So after months of crap and more months of crap to come, I thought, 'Why not update? It'll cheer me up!'**

**All the best, Harmony xxx**

**P.S 18 days until _The Dark Knight Rises_, I'm so excited! :-) Anyone else excited?**


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